Musings....

Listening to ambient sounds,
It tries to calm the evening.
I am inside a room, anxious.
I want to go out.
The moon tonight says "No" stay inside.
I ask "Why".
Silence. Ambient tunes continue.

There is no EXCUSE for Racism...

"Prepare yourself for suffering if you intend to be close to him."

I saw this tonight...

Who Would Cast the First Stone?

"Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole"
Martha Wainwright

Poetry is no place for a heart that's a whore
And I'm young & I'm strong
But I feel old & tired
Overfired

And I've been poked & stoked
It's all smoke, there's no more fire
Only desire
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

You say my time here has been some sort of joke
That I've been messing around
Some sort of incubating period
For when I really come around
I'm cracking up
And you have no idea

No idea how it feels to be on your own
In your own home
with the fucking phone
And the mother of gloom
In your bedroom
Standing over your head
With her hand in your head
With her hand in your head

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

Oh I wish I wish I wish I was born a man
So I could learn how to stand up for myself
Like those guys with guitars
I've been watching in bars
Who've been stamping their feet to a different beat
To a different beat
To a different beat

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

You bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody...

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

On Freedom...

As I stare into an empty wall, I started to think about the certain gifts that people have. Some use it to nourish the hungry soul, some plant seeds of dependency. Then there are those who remind us of the truth about our sin. If we are able to judge others with the eyes of perception, are we able to withstand the same judgment?

Self-inflicted? Why not. The deception of self-inflicted judgment is that often we are so "hard" on our selves that we inflict the same hardness on others. We forget that each person is unique with certain unique vulnerabilities.

Think about it, if you can tolerate and carry with you a certain way of impermeability or thickness of ego, this does not mean the person beside is as tough, as educated, as sophisticated...you can cause more damage by judging them. Is it really about perfection and rightneousness? Or is it about the realization that even the most fucked up is loved and redeemed by God.

Once in a while, stop judging and learn to laugh at the demons that haunt us.

Art of Being...

but there is one aspect of god's love which we should
always keep in mind when we reflect on our vocation to
christian love. god's love is not given to those who
by some heroic effort have made themselves pleasing in
his eyes. god does not direct his love toward those
who have somehow made themselves like him, perfect,
sinless. no, 'god shows his love for us in that while
we were still sinners chirst died for us' (rm 5.8).
god's love is given to those who are different from
him, and he loves them precisely in their difference.
this character of god's love is apparent in the love
of jesus. he begins his ministry with a quotation from
isaiah declaring that his mission is to the poor, the
oppressed, the blind and the captive (lk 4.18-19). and
in his ministry, his love encompassed even the
outcasts of jewish society, 'publicans and sinners'
(mt 9.9-13, 11.9, 21.31). and in the end, god shows
who is his 'well-beloved son,' jesus, dying as an
outcast on the cross. perhaps one of the reasons we
find the mystery of the cross so difficult to
comprehend or accept is the fact that we feel that
love is only possible for those who are like us. we
cannot understand a love which shows itself in the
service of the poor, the oppressed, the outcasts of
our own society. yet the love to which we are called
as christians, the love which we celebrate and pledge
ourselves to in the celebration of our eucharist, is
precisely this love, the love of god for all, even the
least acceptable."--joseph m. powers, s.j.,
"eucharist, mystery of faith and love.